Varied Skies

Just south of Yellowstone, mountains rise in surreal fashion from the valley known as Jackson Hole. Towering over the Snake River, these youthful peaks reach for the sky forming a jagged silhouette yet to be savaged by wind and rain. So distinctive are these mountains they appear to be a Disney creation rather than one fashioned by geological forces.

French fur trappers named these mountains the Grand Tetons. Loosely translated from French to English to American, “Grand Tetons” means “Big Breasts.” I liked this park from the start.

During our first ranger talk, we learned that the “signature animal” of the park is the beaver. Of course it is. The beaver drew pelt-starved Europeans here centuries ago. The ranger spoke passionately about beavers during his presentation. Fortunately, I managed to avoid channeling my inner Frank Drebin (“Nice beaver!”) as countless beaver pictures appeared on the screen.

As a matter of geo-social curiosity, I wondered what would compel the fur trappers to name these mountains the Grand Tetons. I have never seen anything in the human form even remotely resembling the jagged peaks of the Tetons, not even in a Madonna or Miley Cyrus video. But perhaps things are different in France. I searched for an authoritative text that might address this issue and discovered “112 Gripes about the French.” The U.S. Military published this handbook in 1945 to dispel ill-conceived notions held by some U.S. servicemen about the French and French culture. See http://www.112gripes.com/. It addressed many complaints about the French, including some crass assertions that French women were “unclean,” “immoral,” “easy pick-ups,” and “too expensive.” Had there been any complaints about the shapeliness of the French bosom, they surely would have appeared in this unabashed accounting of, and comprehensive retort to, the insensitive perceptions of some U.S. servicemen. Yet, nothing in the handbook sheds any light on why fur trappers would associate jagged peaks for French breasts. Perhaps the trappers had spent too many lonely nights in the woods hunting pelts. Maybe they were referring to moobs. I’ll leave that theory for someone else to investigate.

Though the naming of these peaks raises issues, their breathtaking majesty is beyond question. Each time you glance at the mountains you think, often out loud, “that’s cool.”

The park grounds teem with wildlife, including the aforementioned beaver, elk, moose and foxes.

(There’s a moose there if you are inclined to look hard)

The history of Jackson Hole adds even more character to an already inspiring setting.

That the cutthroat trout of the Snake River craved Worm á La Hook further solidified our love for Grand Teton NP.

Often overshadowed by its more famous neighbor to the north, Grand Teton National Park stands on its own as a worthy and memorable destination.